When I started blogging, I was living in Boston, not sure what I wanted to write... but convinced that I had to try.
A lot has changed, yet again - I'm no longer in Boston, or writing every day, perhaps not writing exactly all I'd like or as often as I'd like... but I'm learning, fitfully, to live with what I can accept, and accept what I can live with.
What went through my mind, today, was all the support and encouragement I've had from friends and family, and how, when I started, I was surrounded by friends who either didn't blog, or who occasionally blogged, as I did, alone and perhaps kind of quietly. Now, my blogger friend has her own paid gig, my best friend posts his pictures online, and my fashion friend made her own leap into blogging just this past month. I am pleased, and proud, to know all of them... and to believe in what they do, too.
This has not been an easy year - not personally, or professionally, or blogging. I went from a heady feeling of sudden promise - all because so many politically minded lefties found themselves fighting for Hillary Clinton - to a precipitous drop in readers, attention... and my own interest. The up and down nature of blogging, more than anything, caught me off guard. I am not big on self promotion - it violates my WASPy, inbred sense of decorum and good taste - and I can't write controversy for controversy's sake ("Roman Polanski is a fucknut who deserves to be thrown in prison!"... eh, not so much). And because of my inner reserve, and my reliance on closely held anonymity... I know I have to accept a certain sort of limitation of audience.
What I've learned, this year and in all the time blogging so far, is a life lesson in writing what I love. Writing for me takes a certain alchemy: in the right mood, with the right topic, and the right amount of time... I can turn out amazing stuff. Take away any of those elements... and I get a bit stuck.
For all the heartaches and reversals... there's never a moment - never, not one... literally, no seriously, literally - when I think "not writing" is the solution. Not doing this blog, just giving up... that's not an option. And what I've realized is that... I have to put this blog up there on my list of priorities. It's not an afterthought. It's the thing that gives meaning to who I am and all of the rest of what I do.
Sixteen hundred and fifty posts, More than 110,000 page views. More than 1600 comments. I can live with that, feel good about it. I've made a promise to myself that in the next few weeks I will reinvigorate my blog, all the elements that go into it, and recommit myself to my personal mission of doing this with passion (and as J and j know... energy, enthusiasm and purpose). I also promise, finally, to do the thing I promise every year... I am sifting through those 1650 posts... and finding ones that I am proudest to call Best of NYC weboy. If it kills me... and it just might.
And confidential to Tom Watson... I love you, man. Let's figure out how to reinvigorate NewCritics. :)
Sorry for the long-ish break; work has been a bit hectic, and I'm leaving on vacation (but writing during it) tomorrow.
While I work on a couple of fresh posts... here, via Portly Dyke over at Shakesville is, as she puts it, a new womanist folk anthem: it's indeed so tuneful I found myself bursting into the chorus afternoon and evening yesterday. At work.
(and, as she notes... totally NSFW. You were warned.)
I've been waiting for Redstar to get back from her vacation and weigh in - from her uniquely connected vantage point - on the AIG bonus mess... and naturally, she does not disappoint: reminding us all, yet again, that underneath the "bonus rage" is a kind of judgment about "who is deserving" that needs better scrutiny.
FWIW, I think when AIG accepted government funds in September 2008,
the Board and leadership should have halted all bonus payments at that
moment for the foreseeable future. But I also believe in progressively
higher tax rates so that we can more equitably provide social service
programs, housing, education and healthcare for every resident of the
U.S. So maybe you personally don't want me making the decisions about
pay schemes at your job or house.
And that's the thing - why I rail against all this "personal
responsibility" rhetoric. Seriously, in principle, who's against it?
Not one of us, from what I can tell. In practice, it can be a
different story. But according to whom? Outraged working families? Joe the Plumber? Who's going to police your behavior??
Maybe, just maybe, if we could get down to the business of governing towards a more just society where we all have
the basics of healthy food, a good education, an affordable place to
live, and the chance to earn a reasonable wage - we'd be far less
likely to face runaway corporate bonuses, shocking homelessness,
widespread job loss and unbearable anger and fear. In other words,
it'd be a lot easier for all of us to fulfill our collective
expectations of personal responsibility. Who knows, we might even
discover a pleasant sense of collective responsibility! Imagine that!
Owned. And awesome. And thanks for the hat tip. :)
When I started my idea of an "Awesome Award", it was kind of a lark (and a way to celebrate a pal)... but I've actually kept an eye out for additional posts that meet my own, personalized, criteria for awesome posts that really sum up a particular issue. And I found one! Via Ezra (and a reminder that he tries to be one of the good guys), this, well, awesome post from Jessica at Feministing, taking on the whole idea of a "hookup culture" and pointing out that it's really just more "dirty girl" propaganda from the far right:
And these books are just the latest in a long line of
publications and reports - almost all put out by conservative
organizations (and I'll explain why that's important in a minute)
saying that hooking up is the most dire issue facing young American
women today.
A short publication - a little booklet meant for college women -
put out by the Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute, for example, says
that the more sexual partners women have, the more depressed they are
and that young women who have sex are just going to end up sad, lonely
dropouts with HPV.
(I'm paraphrasing obviously, but this is in fact what was written in the publication.)
The booklet hinges so much on scare tactics that it goes as far as to wish STDs on fictional characters.
"It's easy to forget, but the characters on Grey's Anatomy and
Sex in the City are not real. In real life, Meredith and Carrie would
have warts or herpes. They'd likely be on Prozac or Zoloft."
Just as an aside, I think it's really telling that a lot of
anti-hook up books rely on anecdotes from TV or the movies - characters
that are totally fictional - because they often can't find real life
examples for their scare tactics.
... cause lately I like to say "awesome" and I like to recognize people, especially friends, who are just that: awesome.
My pal Redstar has just put up a post over at her Poverty blog about how to have abetter more thoughtful discussion about inequality... staring with not blaming poor people for being poor. Aside from being some of the best writing I've seen her do, her point is... well... awesome. Go read it.
And I resolve to keep thee things in mind going forward.
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