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July 22, 2008

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing In The Shadows?

Well, I didn't intend to go four days without posting, and my thanks to the 3 or 4 diehards who refuse to give up on me (especially my best friend J, who posted the flowerlude - and can we just say how beautiful his flower photos are - and wrote to make sure I wasn't dead).

I'm not dead... but I'm struggling. Some of it is.... well, personal, and I really won't be sharing it here (that's not my way); some of it is also personal, but part of the political scene as well. So I thought that would be as good a place as any to start.

As you might guess, since I talk about being a Starbuckian, my income is not what it once was, or what it needs to be. No disrespect to Howard intended, but it's hard to get by on a small hourly wage and the kindness of strangers (a/k/a tips). What started as a merely interesting moment of feeling somewhat strapped has gone on to a feeling of being generally destitute. And it's hard, not so much because of all the things I can't have or do - in the end, you come to appreciate that unnecessary things are, well, unnecessary - but because writing (when I am writing) is providing so much joy, it's hard to contemplate giving that up to chase extra income.

So Saturday, I didn't write because Jennifer and I were traipsing around my nab, window shopping... which was very nice, as we both try to enjoy a new spirit of "look, but don't buy", and really, that makes for an entertaining afternoon trying on sky-high Ferragamo shoes at Nieman Marcus. It was blazing hot, and eventually, the whole day was lost to travel and meeting people, and when I ultimately got home it was too late to really blog effectively.

Sunday, I worked, and that's where I - and my co-worker - discovered this awful story on the front page of the Times, Gretchen Morgenson's admirable attempt to tie together the corporate interests in the debt crisis with an actual individual story.  That the story itself was incredibly sad (and a little predictable), only made the sense of identification all the more vivid. A single mom who got herself way too deep in debt, it looks as though she will lose everything... and still owe on her debts.

And she's not alone.  I think the story affected me more deeply than I first thought, because the idea of even writing about it stranded me for another day. Until this morning when I saw David Brooks follow up on his "debt culture" column with another, fairly dead-on assessment of the problem:

On the front page of Sunday’s Times, Gretchen Morgenson described Diane McLeod’s spiral into indebtedness, and now a debate has erupted over who is to blame.

Some people emphasize the predatory lenders who seduced her with too-good-to-be-true credit lines and incomprehensible mortgage offers. Here was a single mother made vulnerable by health problems and divorce. Working two jobs and stressed, she found herself barraged by credit card companies offering easy access to money. Mortgage lenders offered her credit on the basis of the supposedly rising value of her house. These lenders had little interest in whether she could pay off her loans. They made most of their money via initial lending fees and then sold off the loans to third parties.

In short, these predatory companies swooped down on a vulnerable woman, took what they could and left her careening toward bankruptcy.

Other people emphasize McLeod’s own responsibility. She is the one who took the credit card offers knowing that debt is a promise that has to be kept. After her divorce, she went on a shopping spree to make herself feel better. After surgery, she sat at home watching the home shopping channels, charging thousands more.

Free societies depend on individual choice and responsibility, those in this camp argue. People have to be held accountable for their indulgences or there is no justice. As McLeod herself admirably told Morgenson: “I regret not dealing with my emotions instead of just shopping.”

If you go to the online comment section affixed to Morgenson’s article, you see advocates of these two positions talking past one another, one side talking the morality of social protection and the other the morality of personal responsibility.

Brooks goes on to argue that there's a third way to look at this: that our culture helped make being in debt seem the norm, made consumption the objective (mass luxury), and changed our decision making and our behaviors.  It';s a way of saying... we all bear some responsibility in this.

I suspect many people will be put off by Brooks - he's already got a passionate set of detractors - but I think this is a moment where he's getting it right: finding the center, and saying that as much as anything, we need to be a better society made up of better people with a better value system. That's going to seem, to many on the left especially, like a moral judgment about people like Diane McLeod. But the point is... we are all like Ms. McLeod.

The problem with the debt and mortgage crisis story, I've thought all along, is that it brings out the distinction makers - "I didn't do that," "that's not me," "those people should have known better." Myself. I think people who amassed massive credit card debt really should have known better, but with mortgages I think many people were swindled by banks and lenders who did not explain in enough detail what these mortgages meant to people who did not understand what they were signing on for. But in any case, what's already happening is that, on the margins, in the shadows... people are starting to lose everything. And if we don't get conscious to the problem soon, we will all be facing it.

June 16, 2008

Daddy Loves You... Daddy Loves You...

I have to admit that part of the reason I am a sucker for Country Music is the "Daddy songs" - play me "That's My Job" or "Love, Me" and I just break down and weep. Seriously. In the car, driving along, tears streaming down. Good times.

Similarly, Will Smith caught me short when he released "Just The Two Of Us" - his reworking of the Bill Withers song as an ode to his son Jaden, culminating in exhortations of "Daddy Loves You, Daddy Loves You".

And now, here I am, tearing up as I write this.

Last year, at this time, I wrote about my Dad. He died almost twenty years ago (there's another country song to cry to - Kenny Rogers' "Twenty Years Ago"), and he and my Mom had separated years before that. My mom worked really hard to raise me and my sister, and the sacrifices she made were tremendous. It would be easy for me to say Father's Day is about my Mom... but that's not true.

Continue reading "Daddy Loves You... Daddy Loves You..." »

Bootstraps

On Father's Day, Obama spoke to a church crowd about fatherhood and personal responsibility.  While he was at his rhetorical finest, I've got endless problems with his tired lecturing about behavior, culture and helping the "deserving" poor - here, "fathers doing their part."

My first PhD general exam draft was a personal essay about how my white urban family epitomizes William  Julius Wilson's "underclass" - an extended family living in Dorchester and South Boston public housing that lacked the education, assets and connections to get out of the city when jobs and wealthier whites were doing just that.  20 years after the book's publication, the problems of inner-city joblessness are worse than ever, matched by an unprecedented incarceration rate (the "schools-to-prison pipeline").  Marriage rates are falling nationwide across all ethnic groups, we face a severe shortage of affordable housing, and poverty and inequality have steadily risen under Bush's watch.  Low-income communities of color shoulder a grossly unjust share of this societal burden, yet my white ethnic family endures the same challenges of joblessness or low-wage work, addiction, mental illness, domestic violence, homelessness, etc. 

I've got no patience for political pandering about poverty and social welfare.  With Obama our presumptive nominee, my ire is now directed his way.  Click here for my rant. 

- Redstar

June 12, 2008

The Kennedy Endorsement That Matters (Or WWJD)

In contemplating whether or not to write a "post mortem" on the primary, I've found myself unable to say that we're really at a point to evaluate. Too much, it seems to me, of the "how he did it" or "how she lost" evaluations that came out this week was the way they fed the all too American need to have our history here, now, in easy to digest form, so we will never have to look back on it again. And it's not that easy - there are things we don't know (some we can't know) about developments behind the scenes, what motivated several key players, and the like. Saying confidently "he won because he did X" or "she lost because she failed to do Y" seems too easy, just now.

And if I have to hear another round of Clinton-opposing women say now that sexism is a problem... I'll just scream.

I was reminded of all of this, doing the aforementioned dishes, catching up on last weekend's podcast of Washington Week. One of the especially painful aspects of the primary season has been that Gwen Ifill, a woman I've respected tremendously, and whose success as a key Washington reporter has been heartening generally, has failed me over and over this primary season, unable, really to conceal the kind of natural preference for Obama so many reporters share, and letting that color her coverage. That was true in her "post mortem" discussion, one where Clinton did no right, and Obama did no wrong.

Still, one interesting observation that came up was when Dan Balz pointed out that "Kennedy's endorsement was key," and it occurred to me that I agreed that a Kennedy endorsement was key.

Just a different Kennedy than most.

Continue reading "The Kennedy Endorsement That Matters (Or WWJD)" »

June 11, 2008

A Chip Off The Writer's Block (I'm Walking Away)

You never know when these things will strike, really, now do you?

I know that the summer heat of the past few days had a lot to do with it, and that my work schedule interfered, as it so often does (though I don't know I've ever been so relieved to be required to work in air conditioning as I was the past few days)... but somewhere, somehow... the urge to write just... stopped. Again.

It would be easy to see my life as reflective of larger trends - clearly I'm in a deep funk over Hillary, that sort of thing - but really that's not it.  If you ask me about the politics of it all, I'm mostly waiting to see what develops, still. Obama's done some good things, somethings that I think are still problematic... but there's time, as I said before.

No, I think it's other things. One is something very personal, which developed last night, and which I am in no mood (and no position) to share. The other, also personal, is that the current economic downturn has had its personal toll; I am feeling more destitute than usual, and not seeing the positives, only the frustrations. When you're doing what you love with little renumeration... it's a labor of love, and that love, I can tell you, will be sorely tested. One may not, always, pass.

As usual, I'm being a tad oblique... it's not my nature to be revealing (which, if I had time and inclination is the incredibly bitchy response I'd put together to that lame Emily Gould article in the NYT magazine. I'm not here to bare my soul about every personal trial and tribulation... which allows one to have a life, but sometimes leaves not much to say.

Still, some quality time with The Little Star (who has moved well ahead of expectations for standing and walking in a seven month old), and some time with my favorite iPod mix - zoning in and out on the train into the city listening to the (more trippy than I recall) "Up Against It" by the Pet Shop Boys, segueing into "Up" from Shania Twain (who could probably see the irony there, these days), and winding into "Walking Away" by Craig David. I'm with him.  At least that constitutes moving. And then this constitutes writing. Off of the block.

May 25, 2008

The Hardy Boys And The Shades Of Death

Today's Hardy boys adventure was a walk in the park - Hickory Run State Park, to be exact.

The odd thing about Hickory Run is that I have a long history here - the park is home to the Easter Seals Summer Camp where I was a counselor more than twenty years ago. Though I didn't recognize everything, several things felt entirely familiar. Especially the Field of Boulders, whch is one of the park's signature attractions.

Ray and I share an interest in outdoor things - hikes and the like. PlusShades of death there's a sense of wonder and discovery that I try not to lose in everyday life - a boy's interest in having adventures and doing new things. That (and Parker Stevenson) is what I loved about The Hardy Boys.

So Ray and I hiked a trail called "Shades of Death" which wound its way along a flowing streamRay and martino with dams and waterfalls (that's Ray and Martino, the friend's dog). It was beautiful, and just challenging enough. jumping over roots and climbing over stones and up trails.

As a result we're pretty bushed. There's still a plan for dinner, which should commence shortly, after catching some more decorating shows... which is so not my thing. I'm just not that gay. I know... weird, huh? :)

May 21, 2008

Late At Night I Toss And I Turn And I Dream Of What I Need...

A few late night notes:
  • Via Jeralynn at TalkLeft, I was just overwhelmed by Clinton's speech today in Boca Raton, perhaps the best speech this election season on the need for Democrats to stand up as the party in favor of the most free and fair elections possible. Though I know there's a political calculation to all of this, I too push, strongly, for including Florida and Michigan simply because it is the right thing to do. Some things really should be beyond the Clinton/Obama debate, and this is one of them.
  • Via Hillary 1000, the names of the 55 state bloggers who will be seated with the delegates at the convention has come through... and guess what, it's overwhelmingly white and upper middle class. Um, kind of like the blogosphere, when it comes to politics, most of the time. Suspecting just such a result, I applied to the DNC to be a credentialed blogger at the convention, along with Redstar. Cross your fingers... but it looks like things are looking good for us to write to you from Denver. That said, it's disheartening to see less than the appropriate amount of work put into making sure that a diverse set of voices blogs about convention events. Come on guys, try harder. And pick me (and Red). :)
  • UPDATE: Matt Stoller has more. Apparently this DNCC thing is a big deal, and people are pissed.
  • And finally, J in Baltimore is sad because I took this song for the title of my last post. I hope the song I used for this post meets with his approval. It's sad when I let J down. You complete me, man. :)
  • UPDATE: And Red completes me, by adding more links, directly below. :)
-- weboy

He's Not Dead Yet, You Know

Like some sort of Monty Python sketch, it seems worth pointing out that the eulogies for What A Great Man Ted Kennedy was are premature. He's not dead, and really, we don't know yet exactly how bad his brain cancer might be.

Let's also not get ahead of ourselves in overstating the importance of who he is or what he's done. Yes, a lot of admirable work has been accomplished on a lot of issues that Democrats care about.  But it's also the case that this was a callow youth who got into the family business and was given perhaps the safest of Senate seats. His personal life has been far from exemplary, and no, I'm not just talking about the Chappaquiddick bridge.

Will there be a dearth of leadership if he passes? I find that hard to believe; Senators are ambitious creatures (what, like 7 of them ran for President this go round or so, yes?). The idea that Kennedy is or was better at the business of legislating than others belies the fact that his best and brightest successes were shared ones, that speak to the power of collaboration and cooperation. Values which, I think, could use some celebrating, and less denigrating generally.

As for ghoulish speculation, I'd point out that if he does leave or pass out of his Senate seat, the real interesting question is who succeeds him.  It's likely - given the state of Massachusetts politics - that the Massachusetts delegation will be without a Kennedy for the first time in 50 plus years. Moreover, the machine-like nature of the Democrats in Mass has kept a number of perfectly strong representatives (Barney Frank being the most obvious) chafing in House seats with nowhere to go.  That could be compounded if, as I suspect, Deval Patrick would leap at the opportunity to flee the State House. And it makes me wonder if John Kerry can really count on never being challenged again in a primary.

I'm always fascinated at my Mom's discussion of the Democratic sacred cows; she was always stinging in her disregard for Daniel Patrick Moynihan, and she reminded me, pointedly, this morning, that she didn't vote for Kennedy when he first ran for the Senate, and we lived in Boston. I think we, as Democrats, get a little doctrinaire at times about who we're supposed to laud (and I'm not going to touch the implications in that sentence about our Civil Rights legends - draw your own conclusions). These are politicians, not Gods, we're talking about. Of course I feel bad about Kennedy's illness, and I hope he can be treated and do good work for many more years. But we can wait until he's dead to make more of him than he actually was in life.

May 15, 2008

Do You Make A Promise... I Do. I Do.

This time I am going to jump in over RedStar, because this is personal: the stunning decision in California to allow same sex marriages has left me floored.

Indeed, when I first heard it on the car radio this afternoon, I didn't entirely comprehend the enormity of it: we now have two states where gays and lesbians will be able to get marriage licenses (and, more cynically... divorces).

For a long time I was very ambivalent about gay marriage; I am old school in my rad fag tendencies, and the "sexual outlaw" aspect of the gay rights movement was something deeply meaningful to me (as a philosophy, oddly, and not a personal manifesto; I have the sexual history of an uptight protestant... because I am one). I believe, still, that out loud and proud gay activism should challenge every aspect of the heteronormative pressures our society puts forth, including the notions of marriage, fidelity and monogamy that are drilled into us day after day (just ask Vito Fossella.  Or Elliott Spitzer.)

Still, that was before, as I've mentioned previously, going to my first gay wedding, where I took pictures for my very good friends, and brought them a lovely Smythson guest sign-in book (again: uptight, and protestant. How many times must I tell you?). Just like a real wedding.  The ceremony, on Martha's Vineyard, in a three day affair, was lovely. Just like a real wedding.

Because it was.

Ultimately, as Red points out, there's a lot of political reasons to be impressed today. But this is personal. This is what Loving vs. Virginia means to me, and to my family. This is, as Mildred Loving said, about love, and families, and the simple, human desire to spend your life with the person you love. And so... if it makes me a little less rad, I'll admit: this marriage thing is pretty cool. And necessary. And I, too, am thrilled to see California move into the modern age.

But remember... it means we can get married. It doesn't mean we have to. :) Because I do... still... want to be one with the freaks, weirdos, and outsiders.

The progressive policy 1-on-1 continues b/w CA & MA

Today the CA Supreme Court ruled that banning same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. Previously, MA was the only state in the nation allowing same-sex marriage, following a similar ruling in 2004.

It feels like CA comes up again and again here in MA as our #1 competitor for health, energy, and civil rights policy. Sh*t! CA passed legislation funding stem-cell research! We've got to get on that, and hell, we'll actually make it work! (Ah, the beauty of second-mover advantage...hopefully it will work out as well as we follow their lead in adopting their low-carbon fuel standards...)

While we're at it, why don't we legislate universal health insurance and ensure that our infertility coverage is arguably the best in the nation?

Still, I hear CA is one of the best places for gays/lesbians to adopt. Their second-parent adoption laws are strong, and there's some deal about the use of the word "partner" on birth certificates, if I remember correctly. Though I think we did create some precedent setting law here.

Anyone else want to give a shout-out for their state's progressive policies, or add to this non-random, partial list? Thanks for joining my nerdy celebration of this historic and wonderful ruling in California today!!