Worst Song Ever: The Ground Rules

Well, a lively discussion has developed around The Worst Song Ever.  I was just mentioning in passing listening to “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman” (Really, Have you?)… and hating it; and suddenly, everyone wants to join in.

Well, I think we need to lay out some ground rules.   Aside from some really bizarre choices (As J noted to me, we love “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”), if we’re serious, then we should play on the same field.  So without further ado the 11 Guidelines, as determined by me:

1. The song will generally come from the genre of Pop/Top 40 music.  “Overplayed” is a key part of the criteria. 
2. No fair suggesting songs from a genre (e.g. Country or Speed Metal) that the Nominator doesn’t like on general principle.
3. However, all submissions will receive due consideration, if the Nominator make a good case for it.
4. Because of #3, Nominator must supply reasoning.  Songs submitted as just a title or “’We Built This City’ – ugh,” will probably be rejected (except in the case of We Built This City) .
5. Specific songs, not “I hate all Power Ballads”
6. The song must genuinely be dreck – that is, lame lyrics, terrible melody, lousy/overwrought performance, etc.  Merely bad songs will not make the cut (with our apologies)
7. For the moment, no artist is sacred – even Madonna makes mistakes.
8. For our purposes, we will confine ourselves top the rock era (1955 – forward), with special emphasis on songs since 1979.
9. Submitted songs will be ranked, in order of general heinousness, from worst to least.  The rankings will be based on a determination of the judges, taking into account mass taste (i.e. how many folks voted for it), lameness, and ability to cause a headache at 500 yards.
10. Rankings will be updated on a regular basis.
11. All final determinations will be made by me.  If you have control issues, start your own list.

We welcome your feedback on these guidelines - please let us know any comments, suggestions, or items that need clarification (you know, like "what is dreck?"). These guidelines may be updated or changed at any time.  Please submit your nominations in the comments section, or e-mail me at nycweboy@nycweboy.com.

Comments

[Megan's momma]

We built this city by starship is the most horrific song ever!
I'm also not a huge fan of Money Money by Billy Idol. FOr that matter I hate Billy Idol.

[jin baltimore]

Speaking of Madonna, I nominate her remake of Don MaClean's "American Pie," for this simple reason: the point of the original is that it had many many verses, and, like it or loathe it, there was a certain sense of pride in knowing all of those words, whereas Madge's version has maybe three entire verses. Lackluster performance as well. Was it overplayed? Can't say for sure. There simply was no reason for this cover.

[Amy]

4 Non Blones - "Whats Goin On"...hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...GAG.

[jin baltimore]

Ray Parker Jr's "Ghostbusters." No actual song there, way way way overplayed...and for bonus points, I believe he was sued by Huey Lewis for plagiarism or some such and lost.