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September 14, 2007


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As I recall I was the only silent one during that argument about Joan Crawford (but your're still wrong - Russell stole the show! ha!)

Agreed on being brave enough to stand the silences, though, especially when someone has just avowed a particulary gruesome viewpoint, and, in my case, it was only age that gave me the confidence to do that.

As I recall there was this moment near the end of the argument when we clearly weren't going to agree, and everything lapsed into silence - I agree you were silent for much of it anyway - and everyone looked uncomfortable. :) I agree the comfort level comes with age.

As you get older (except maybe for the drinking), the attempts to hide the awkward silence become, in themselves, beside the point. You know where the bad lay leads. You know what comes from pretending to agree that you like Neil Diamond, too. Nothing good.

Heh! So true, right down to the damned Neil Diamond reference. Back in the day, I got to the point where I simply rufused to go on any more "dates" (or fixups or followups-to-giving-out-the-phone-number or double-dates with a friend's college roommate that said friend neglected to inform me was a strip-club addict who refused to take me straight home, insisting on a quick stop at the nude bar). This was in the mid-80's. I just couldn't deal with the bullshit any more, I had a semi-boyfriend living on the other side of the country, and an long-time "friend-with-benefits", whom I'd have dinner with from time to time, living in town. Otherwise, I just refused to even try to meet men any more, despite my mum's escalating cries for me to "get out there" before it was too late (I was 26).

I was sitting in a club, listening to the band and waiting for my FWB to arrive for our not-date-date when a dark-haired tornado blew into the room. We exchanged numbers and spoke on the phone for hours the next day; when I returned from a trip abroad that Friday, we went out to dinner.

No uncomfortable silences, for once. It was more like stepping into a sparring match already in progress, putting on your gloves and jumping into the ring to replace the current contender who was fed up and giving up. A deeply twisted and multilayered sense of humor, when shared, will immediately do away with the Uncomfortable Silence Syndrome.

We were living together in the space of two weeks and married two years later.

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