Living History with Dreams from My Father

In the last month, I've made a 500 mile round-trip journey between Louisville and The Highlander Center in one day, and driven 750 miles this weekend between Boston and DC.  To pass all the time in the car, I listened to Hillary Clinton's memoir, Living History and am now 80% of the way through Barack Obama's story, Dreams From My Father.  Consider this part of my desire to "know" better both potential nominees, given how undecided this race remains.

Given I've been on the road and couch surfing with friends and family since Thursday now, I've barely been following the election with my usual rabid zeal.  Nonetheless, my time remains dominated by conversations and thoughts about race, gender, class and inequality.  Sat night with my potential future in-laws offered hours of dinner table debate about the candidates and the state of the race, where, as my man's dad put it, I compellingly laid out my case for Sen. Clinton.  I've been conducting interviews about community organizing and development in the post-Katrina Gulf Coast these last few days, and the backdrop of this historic election and the possibility of Democratic victory looms large in these discussions.  With the 2 memoirs under my belt, I feel like I have a better understanding of both candidates than ever.

Let me say this about the 2 books: Living History is guarded and fairly dull.  It's interesting if you're hazy on the details about Starr et al. and the "vast right-wing conspiracy," but it's plodding and ends on what seems like a fairly disingenuous note, given the current circumstances: that Sen. Clinton is cajoled into and surprised by her own accepting of the offer to run for the Senate.  What it did reveal to me is that Sen. Clinton is culturally conservative (vs. politically conservative), and that she deeply believes in traditional notions of democracy, service to our country, and patriotism.  She also was a tour de force in her work with women and children around the globe during her time as First Lady, and a significant voice in Pres. Clinton's administration, whether he took her advice or not, as she routinely made clear what decisions she supported or those she would have handled differently.

Dreams from My Father, on the other hand, is much more interesting and revealing - almost painfully so, in my opinion.  (If I were running for POTUS, I would want the book OFF the shelves, given how hyperanalytical Obama is about his mixed-race identity and where he fits in American society.  But that's just me, the gal who stopped blogging because journaling on-line got too personal.)  The book was written after a publisher's invitation after Obama became the first black person to head Harvard Law Review.  It covers his childhood and young adulthood, through his mid-twenties, from HI to Indonesia, and NY and Chicago and Kenya.  It's a very humanizing portrait of Obama, and I feel like I can relate to him more than ever.

HOWEVER - DfMF has also reinforced my suspicion that Obama's biggest political project so far is himself (and I say "suspicion" because I'd love a memoir update on his life post-law school til now - yes, I know the general contours).  He's a mixed-race person searching for an identity, someone who appears ambivalent about his white relatives as well as about African-American anger and it's efficacy in improving people's lives.  Listening to six hours of Obama reading aloud his memoir, it strikes me that his presidential campaign is his internal dilemma writ large - Weboy's can't-we-all-just-get-along philosophy on the national political stage.  I'd love for some of his supporters to tell me what more he stands for politically besides the drive to heal the nation from our troubled, racist past and present (and personally, I don't care that he spoke out against the war before he got to the Senate).  I find this to be a tremendous and needed endeavor, but not the raison d'etre to run for President.  And it really seems to me that this is what drives him.  This, unfortunately, does not translate into an ability to govern, especially "from Day 1" as Sen. Clinton puts it.

Diplomacy, intelligence, empathy - these are all necessary traits in a leader, and I think Obama possesses them all.  But I wish more than ever that he had waited to run, because I'd find these characteristics much much more appealing were they backed up by a longer CV.  All he offers to me is a new face and experience in the White House - and honestly, I am disappointed in myself that this is not enough for me. But it isn't.  I've come to realize that if I was supporting Obama, it'd be for symbolic reasons, and that's not sufficient.

That said, I'm grateful for the long primary season because I've come to support Sen. Clinton for more than symbolic reasons.  I really liked both candidates through the fall, and especially in hindsight, know that my February 5th vote for Clinton was driven largely by her gender.  However, as the primary has continued, I've become convinced that she is the more prepared, more qualified candidate to lead.  Sen. Obama has made too many rookie mistakes in these late stages, and he's not course correcting quickly enough.  I'd love to see a unity ticket, in the manner Weboy describes.  I'm not ready to lose the option of a President Obama in my young lifetime.   

- Redstar

Comments

[greg]

I'm curious, as I've read neither: does Hillary articulate a raison d'etre in her biography? And do you find her "social conservatism" to be genuine? I must confess that despite all the talk in the media about how little we "know" Obama, I don't really feel like I get what motivates Clinton. Just a question.

[Redstar]

Actually, I think she's culturally conservative, and I don't use the word social here because I'm not quite sure what I'd mean by that. By culturally I mean she seems traditional - quietly religious, patriotic, a believer in right v. wrong, etc. I know some people don't like that, but I'm ok with it.

I think that Clinton is a true blue Democrat who's been politically active since she was 13 (moving from GOP to Dem in her teens). I think she is a politician, meaning that she's spent her entire life in a role of advocacy and policymaking for a variety of groups: Democrats (via her jr role in the Watergate investigations) children (via Children's Defense Fund and as First Lady), women (First Lady), families, women and kids (again, her legal work), the uninsured (as First Lady of AR and First Lady), etc.

I realize these books were written with specific purposes - hers is to describe her role as First Lady and she begins with childhood and goes thru the Clinton Admin, and it's boring in part because there's not much that's salacious or even personal but a lot of detail on what she's been up to professionally and extra-curricularly (as a kid and college student). And Obama's memoir is a much more personal, coming-of-age type of story.

What I found though by listening to the 2 was that I learned a lot more about Clinton's qualifications, and my skepticism about Obama was reinforced via his book.

Obviously, most Presidential candidates run because they think they'd be best for the job, but I still don't know how Obama would define that job. Why is he running, beyond he's the best person for the job? Whereas with Clinton I feel like I understand what she'd like to do in office, and it's what she's been working her whole life towards, in some ways.

I think Clinton's really tough to "know" - she has an interview in People this week where I think she sounds really inauthentic. I think she only gives glimpses of who she is. But that's fine with me because I think she's got the experience and fit for the job, and I don't think that she's secretly hiding a demonic personality. I just think she's kind of business-like and sort of awkward. With Obama, I'm drawn to him personally, but I just don't know why he's running, and I don't think he's ready.