Don't ask me why I'm watching The Olympics.
It's embarrassing. All my strength and resolve flies out the window when I get home and find Mom absorbed in the latest gymnastics trials or swimming heats. And there I sit, zombie-like, taking it all in.
I hate the Olympics. I hate what they've become, I hate what NBC has done to them, I hate we all just go along and act as if any of this is meaningful, when mostly, it's not.
Look, I think it's exciting to watch Michael Phelps win... again. But really, that's what he was trained to do, and he does it with the calm, joyless efficiency of a cyborg so thoroughly that it's hard to develop a lot of enthusiasm for what seems, very much, foreordained. I don't want to make light of his prowess - I can't do it, and most likely, neither can you. But still.
Phelps, I think, is emblematic of what The Olympics have become, athletics wise: grim automatons carefully engineered to excel in their sport, freaks of a sort who have made the notion of cheerful, amateur competition moot. This, really, is the logical endpoint of the energy that some countries put into developing "athletics programs" solely focused on winning Olympic medals. Now, all the big countries do it, and all of it has killed the idea of the Olympics. I still can't decide which is more hilariously sad: the professional basketball players who've made the basketball competition more ludicrous every time, or the professional tennis players, who act as if they're doing something other than what they do at Wimbledon and the US Open, except with flags.
It's especially odd to see the Olympics this year, when "world peace" is so far from even being a goal at this time. International cooperation? In your sad little dreams. Even as we play this out, Russia has invaded Georgia... never mind Iraq. Or Afghanistan. Or Iran (which, unlike many Muslim nations, actually sent women to compete).
Yes, the opening ceremonies were lavishly beautiful, and visually stunning (and really, so what if one little girl lip-synched for another? Is that the biggest scandal here? I'm thinking no). But that, too is kind of a given - just like the appearance of Q-tip shaped Sarah Brightman to wail in her oddly "international songbird" way, which it turns out sounds a lot like Chinese Opera, I suddenly realized.
There's really nothing new here, nothing unexpected, little to really show us a world where we come together, from all over the globe, and share a moment of worldwide harmony. That's really for the MacDonald's commercials. No, it's corporate and plasticized and engineered and overdone... and empty. And after awhile, watching those rather tortured looking young people (especially the gymnasts), I'm inclined to beg us all to stop this farce before we hurt someone. Oh wait, we already did.
Which leaves NBC, the worst thing to happen to the Olympics since, well, corporate sponsorship, I suppose; as much as I try to prepare for it, I am still stunned by the insipid levels of "color commentary" we get. That's especially true watching machine-like Phelps, as the NBC team struggles to inject drama, warmth, and a sense of purpose to watching the obvious. There's his Mom, and his sisters. Oh, and did you know he's planning to move back to Baltimore after the games? Mom must be thrilled. Or so I've been told. Repeatedly. And suddenly, the point of South Park's "What Would Brian Boitano Do" becomes clearer - more descriptions of Phelps superhuman breath-holding, big feet, and fish like qualities... and I think he's actually Aquaman.
As I get ready to take a blog break, I know one thing that will really be last on my list - following any more of this nonsense. If I want real superheroes, I'll just go back to reading Justice League.
I hear you, but I've been enjoying the Olympics. I like seeing all the countries get together and compete...I do find it odd that all swimmers, not just Phelps, are just shattering one world record after another. It is telling...but really, you're bringing me down here, dude... ;)
Posted by: Redstar | August 14, 2008 at 10:57 AM
I'm with ya on this one, weboy; though I'd add the predictability of Phelps' wins is the way many outside of NY characterize Yankee baseball.
Posted by: jinbaltimore | August 14, 2008 at 11:26 AM
This NY Times piece about Phelps and his mother (in the Westchester section last weekend) humanized Michael Phelps for me. I don't think you will see him as an automaton if you read it.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/sports/olympics/10Rparent.html
Posted by: Karin | August 14, 2008 at 08:51 PM
My Mom just mentioned it too... my only question... why is it in the Westchester section? They're not from Westchester.
I should have added that what bothers me about the NBC coverage is the institutional bias to present the Olympics as something about American sportspeople... and occasionally others. China has the most gold medals. There are literally dozens of interesting results already from people who are not American. But there we are, following Phelps and the American women swimmers (who are not nearly so dominant), telling the gymnastics story as if it's about Johnson and Luken (when clearly several other women are having considerable impact), and grudgingly accepting that CXhina and Japan have the Men's Gymnastics story this year. And all this is bound to get worse when we get to Track and Field. It's not that this is new; but ABC, I think, fought this when they had it when I was a kid... NBC just capitulates at every turn.
Finally, as I said, I admire Phelps for his accomplishments... but I think there's just not a lot there that's all that compelling. That's not meant to minimize him or the accomplishments... but I think there's a lot of energy to warm up something that's just... not all that warm. And in part, I think it's a reminder that our cultural imperative to draw sports figures as larger than life (and twice as natural) is a curious, and in some ways, mistaken, one.
Posted by: weboy | August 14, 2008 at 11:29 PM
I don't know...you just seem so angry... ;)
Yes, I agree it's overwhelmingly only about the US - and that makes it much more dull than it needs to be.
Posted by: Redstar | August 15, 2008 at 02:45 PM
I recommend watching Olympic videos on nbcolympics.com. They are commentary- and commercial-free, and show full competitions from beginning to end. They're still overly focused on the US athletes, but they are a pleasant departure from all the relentless NBC coverage.
Posted by: Redstar | August 16, 2008 at 02:57 PM