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August 09, 2008


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Great finish. I was waiting for your take on this! :)

It seems to me that you're equating divorce with having an affair and think the two are very different. When people get married they create a contract with one another and each party should respect that contract and stay faithful to the other and to it. However when people get divorced they in-effect cancel the contract.

I believe, there is a reason it's called cheating-one person is dishonoring the contract and I believe that's why most people and all religions don't find it acceptable-it's sneaky, and mean, and hurts someone that you have professed to love.

But with a divorce, while perhaps painful and wrenching to one or both parties at first becomes less so after time, is a dissolution of the contract, above board and acceptable.

I've never heard anyone equate the two and I wonder why you are.

I'm not so much "equating" the two as I am also pointing out the nature of the contract, which, as they say in the ceremony, is "as long as you both shall live". Conservatives - the real ones - who don't like adultery also do not like divorce. Yet, as a society, we accept that forever may not last as long as it once did. We could, in a similar way, accept that total fidelity (like forever) is an artificial expectation; indeed, given the reality of extramarital affairs, clearly, some people do. My only point in this is that the rigidity of Americans when it comes to relationships is more of a muddle (and a work in progress) than we like to admit - and we are, gradually and by degrees, moving towards a society more grounded in reality than in unrealistic expectations (as with divorce). But as you say, it's hard to shake the notions of fidelity in marriage, even when those expectations are so unrealistic.

It's odd. If one is monogamy-challenged and admits it, could one still be elected?

Are there single, non-gay politicians? Can it work?

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