OVERpacking for the Beach – a List

 

• Address Book - in case of old friends, or new
• ATM Card – spend spend spend
• Bandaids - in case of foul play
• Bathing Suits – the fat one and the not-so-fat one
• Batteries, Double A – because life takes electricity
• Beads/Chains – because gay life takes jewelry
• Cameras – the broken one too, as a prop, so people take you more seriously than they should
• CD’s – used to read cassettes (old, old, old, I tells ya)
• Cell-phone with charger – even though, out of range, minutes are so pricey as to be ruthlessly useless
• Checkbook – in case of massive ATM snafus
• Credit Card – in case of massive mis-approximation of funds snafu
• DVDs – in case of rain
• Flip Flops, and lethal weapon of choice, to use on anyone’s misstepping on the back of one
• Floss – the only items between teeth should be sweet sweet calories
• Frisbee – just in case after all of these years, you meet that kindred spirit
• Health Insurance Card – in case of broken ankles and teeth or swollen saliva glands
• Hoola Hoop – well, you never know
• Jeans – sometimes it rains
• Lotion – 30, 8, 4 and After
• Medication – any that relieves pain and anguish of allergies or hangovers
• Money – always good to mention again and to review repeatedly just in case you missed the atm card, checkbook and credit card above
• Mouthwash – after all of that flossing, cmon!
• Nail file – I think it was HB Lewis who said, “Next to family, toenail hygiene is most important.”
• Nose Hair Trimmer – and it was his wife, Miss Martha, who’d always add his trimmer as corollary
• Razors – that’s plural because others will forget theirs
• Shaving Cream – soap on sunburn is never a good idea
• Shirts, shoes and shorts – for service
• Shorts, Breakfast – as far as sleeping in them, we’re gonna have to go with the honor system here, but ya gotta have something seemly for the host’s breakfast nook
• Socks – yes, the Clinton cat has passed his life-saving course
• Sunglasses – it is very important to be other than yourself when on vacation and how better to achieve this goal than by refusing to make eye contact with anyone else
• Sweatshirt/sweater – in case the weather goddess hates you
• Toothbrush and Paste – sorry, that should read toothbrush and toothpaste, unless you’re craftsy
• Towel, Beach – must be new each year, no skimping, no exceptions, no kidding
• Underwear – no, really, it could rain
• Wallet – ingenious way to keep track of atm card, checkbook, credit card, and money, but then maybe they shouldn’t all be in one place either, hmmmm…..Traveller’s Checks?
• Watch – never!
• Worries - optional
• jinbaltimore

 

Comments

[weboy]

I feel compelled to add:

Books - one trashy thing for the beach, preferably long and diverting and involving loose people having cheap sex (see lit, chick... also Collins, Jackie. Never Collins, Joan). A diverting mystery is also acceptable (see George, Elizabeth). One serious nonfiction political book (a conversation starter as well as the way to prove that salacious trash does not make you shallow, or at least, not too shallow). Also one "arty" novel that you have been struggling to get through and assume that "free time" will allow for completion. It won't.

More DVDs - not only might it rain, but everyone else's selections may be unappealing.

iPod - walkmans are so eighties. Boom boxes are out of the question.

Bathing suits - the decent one, and the not so decent one.

A writing journal - "oh I just like to write things down as they strike me." Often goes unused.

Sandals - no arch support, no protection from sand or rocks, no way to run in them... perfect! And easy to pack!

an athletic costume - running, cycling, kayaking... the beach is just outdoorsy enough for even the least athletic dilletante to take up "a little something" for a week or two.

An "easy favorites" cookbook - not only might it rain, not only might you be too broke to eat out... you may even want to entertain.

[jinbaltimore]

a) Only early George is diverting; lately, she's been maudlin

b) But I have faith in MY DVD taste...I didn't say I'd bring yours (kidding... mostly)

I like the athletic costume idea best, I think, kayak and frisbee uniforms preferred, of course.