Immortals: Treasure Trails, And Minotaur's Tails

I'm pretty sure most film executives, never mind the rest of us, don't wake up saying "get me someone to do a film like 300", but someone did... and now we have Immortals. Or... excuse me Immortals 3D.

Immortals is 300 for the PG-13 set, which is to say, a little less gory, a smidge less gay, and a lot more serious... if that's possible. In that regard, the film seems like a "why bother?" but Immortals turns out to be a fairly approachable popcorn pleaser, visually interesting, and less ambarrassingly acted than one might think. In a sense, it's everything Clash of the Titans could have been, and wasn't - including the actual clash of the actual Titans.

Immortals is the story of Theseus, like Perseus, the child of Zeus and a mortal woman. In this case Zeus is hanging around, trying to school the boy in heroism (disguised as John Hurt - and why does Hurt seem to be the go-to narrator for this new Swords and Sandals revival?). Theseus and Mom live in Kolpos, a city dramatically carved into the side of a cliff, with a labyrinthine(!) temple, where the women go every day to pray. 

The temple of course, figures into the film's better set piece, a reimagining of Theseus and the Minotaur that proves central to the larger storyline. That being the quest of King Hyperion to obtain the Bow of Epirus, a magical bow that can free the Titans from their prison in Mount Tartarus, and restart their battle with the Greek Gods.

And if you find that eye-rolling, just stop here.

To its credit, the film makes the mix of Godlike and mortal action work better than most films. That has a lot to do with the visionary sense of Tarsem, who directs this film in what may be his most accessible, commercial effort yet (if you had The Cell inflicted on you, or were one of the 7 people who saw The Fall... you get the picture). Tarsem is one of those rare directors who really does think in big, dramatic visual storytelling, and all the elements are in place here. More impressively, he finds a surprisingly successful tone for the acting on display, which neither insults the heavy thespian chops of his largely Brit cast, nor wastes Mickey Rourke as the despotic, over the top Hyperion.

Rourke's found a second (or possibly third) life playing the dramatic heavy in these enormous tentpole films (quite literally - he's huge), and often he's too much - too intense, too wild, too hammy. Here, he underplays with remarkable effectiveness, and when he lashes out, it both makes his point and is suitbaly large scaled. It takes a real director's finesse to pull that off, and Tarsem delivers.

Much of the rest of cast is populated with familiar pretty boys and hardbodies - Henry Cavill as Theseus, Kellan Lutz as Poseidon, Steven Dorff as Theseus' "friend from prison"... oh never mind. I'm especially partial to Luke Evans, who plays Zeus here, fresh off playing Aramis in the recent Three Musketeers... and also Joseph Morgan, here playing a turncoat named Lysander, but currently also storming through The Vampire Diaries as Klaus. I should also mention the main female role, the Oracle Phaedra, with Freida Pinto as this year's stunning almond-eyed exotic.

All of the men - and more - are set off neicely in Eiko Ishioka's costumes - Ishioka being Tarsem's go-to costume designer. What with leather Speedos having been done, and mini-kilts being so last year, Ishioka comes up with a creative alternative to show off the male physique, dropping the waistline of the tunics and skirts to sit low on the hips, framing the torso especially long (and dangerously close to, er, the edge of naugtiness). The result, especially on the Gods, is an especialy undressed sense of dressed, and no one's around to claim that they're too serious to be half dressed or less (Dorff is especially shameless at this, Evans as well). I'd call it doing a lot with a little. But seriously, Ishioka's costumes add considerably to the film's striking visuals, with their Eastern accents and stark colors.

The ending is both legendary victory and obvious setup for sequel - though how that might work is something of a mystery, since the legend doesn't really go past the final scene here. More than 300, I think Immortals stands as better than one might reasonably expect in the Sword and Sandals genre, miles ahead of Clash, and pretty darn entertaining. And really, how picky should we be in our popular entertainments? A reasonably diverting storyline, lots of shirtless guys... works for me. And that Pinto lady is awfully pretty, too.

Comments

[Lennie]

Thanks for this review as I'm sure I would have skipped this one.
These days we all need to escape for awhile.